Talking With Her Ex-Boyfriend

Question 1 :
"A friend and I recently started talking about getting together. She has just removed herself from a bad relationship. She complained to me about how her ex-boyfriend made her feel like dirt. The weird thing is she still wants to talk to him. She even told me that if we get serious she doesn’t want to stop talking to him. She says he has become a very good friend. I am concerned because she has left her ex-boyfriend before and dated another man, and eventually went back to her ex-boyfriend. Am I being insecure?"

**No you are not being insecure. You are being realistic. She has shown a pattern of using men as a placeholder for her ex-boyfriend. Nobody wants or deserves to be a placeholder.
If he makes her feel like dirt she should want to distance herself from him instead of keeping him close. Communicating with her verbally abusive ex-boyfriend should be off limits if she wants to date you. She obviously feels there is a chance of them getting back together, and that is why she wants to keep lines of communication open.**

My Bestfren's Boyfriend

Question 2 :
My best friend’s boyfriend is a jerk. He makes fun of her and says mean things to her all the time. When they are around each other they usually fight. He is always making her cry and hurting her feelings. They broke up several weeks ago and she was devastated. Then he called her back crying the same night and they got back together! I’m trying to make her see that he’s not going change and they need to break up, but she can’t seem to see it. What can I do to help or make her feel better?

**Unfortunately your best friend is blinded by love. There really isn’t too much you can do to change her mind. You want her to be happy, but she isn’t when she is with him. Let her know you are concerned, and you hate to see her so upset all of the time. Make sure you stay supportive and helpful, and avoid being confrontational. Hopefully she will realize he is a jerk as time goes on. **

Blinded By Love

Question 3:
I was involved in a three year relationship that ended one year ago. Now we are talking again and both agree we belong together. He has told me I am the “love of his life”, and I truly feel the same way. He has told me he wants to take it slow, and I agree.
Recently he had a falling out with his roommates and decided to move out. The problem is he has moved in with a friend he used to mess around with. He says they are just friends now and nothing is going on. Well, they both sleep together in the same bed at night. He swears up and down that there is nothing between them and that two friends can sleep in the same bed and not mess around. It is a one bedroom apartment, and there is a living room with a couch he could sleep on. Am I being blinded by love on this one?

**Yes you are being blinded by love. Living in the same apartment and sleeping in the same bed with an ex-lover is unacceptable. There is a good chance something is going on between them. If you are the “love of his life” he should be staying with you. Move on to someone new.**